After much clamoring and crying out, after many poorly recited versions that make a person cringe with the lack of accuracy, here it is. The most often quoted and poorly remembered scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail: The Black Knight Scene.


You fight with the strength of many men, Sir Knight.

[pause]

I am Arthur, King of the Britons.

[pause]

I seek the finest and the bravest knights in the land to join me in my Court at Camelot.

[pause]

You have proved yourself worthy; will you join me?

[pause]

You make me sad. So be it. Come, Patsy.

--None shall pass.

What?

--None shall pass.

I have no quarrel with you, good Sir knight, but I must cross this bridge.

--Then... you shall die.

I command you as King of the Britons to stand aside!

--I move... for no man.

So be it!



With much vigor the Black Knight attempts to chop Arthur to little bit, but Arthur is a master swordsman and easily parries all of the Black Knight's swings. [Arthur chops the Black Knight's left arm off after a short battle]


Now stand aside, worthy adversary.

--'Tis but a scratch.

A scratch? Your arm's off!

--No, it isn't.

Well, what's that then?

--I've had worse.

You liar!

--Come on you pansy!


[Arthur chops the Black Knight's right arm off]


Victory is mine! [kneeling] We thank thee Lord, that in thy merc-

[Black Knight kicks Arthur in the head while he is praying]


--Come on then.

What?

--Have at you!

You are indeed brave, Sir knight, but the fight is mine.

--Oh, had enough, eh?

Look, you stupid bastard, you've got no arms left.

--Yes I have

Look! [pointing at the Black Knight's arms lying on the ground]

--Just a flesh wound

[Headbutts Arthur in the chest]

Look, stop that

--Chicken! Chicken!

Look, I'll have your leg. Right! [whop - off goes the Black Knight's leg]

--Right, I'll do you for that!

You'll what?

--Come 'ere!

What are you going to do, bleed on me?

--I'm invincible!

You're a loony.

--The Black Knight always triumphs! Have at you! Come on then.


[Arthur chops the Black Knight's other leg off]


--All right; we'll call it a draw.

Come, Patsy.

--Oh, oh, I see, running away, 'eh? ... You yellow bastards! Come back here and take what's coming to you.... I'll bite your legs off!

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