The fall of Tony Hawk
Tony Hawk is old. He is getting older with each passing breath. Now he's even older. And now he's even older. And now he's older than he's ever been and now he's even older. Time. Keeps marching on. To paraphrase a song by They might be Giants, Tony isn't gettig any younger, and if he keeps this kind of extreme non-sense up, he going to be needing a bit of surgery; to wit:

ANNOUNCER 1: Thanks for joining us at the 2005 X-Games. Not many people thought that we would make it this long, they guessed that most of us would be dead due to our own stupidity long ago, but, like the proverbial bad penny, we keep turning up.

ANNOUNCER 2: That's right Bob, most of these stoners, losers, punkers, and boarders would have been gone long ago if it wern't for that famous figure-head, the now legendary Tony Hawk.

ANNOUNCER 1: Well Tom, after Tony's series of games finally stopped after number five, most people figured he was all washed up, but he's back again to prove them all wrong. The decrepit Hawk is going for one more show, fraile bones, weak mind, and all.

ANNOUNCER 2: To say that Tony is over the hill is putting it lightly, Bob, wouldn't you say?

ANNOUNCER 1: Yes, Tom, I would. He's been boarding so long, he sometimes forgets his name, address, shoe size, where he currently is, or just about anything else that might be considered a thought, sometimes right in the middle of a jump!

ANNOUNCER 2: Well, after Tony's amazing wipe-out in 2004, where he broke both of his wrists as well as fracturing a leg and straining or pulling a half dozen muscles, no-one expected to see him again, yet he came back like Michael Jordan earlier this year, and just yesterday he took yet another massive fall, breaking even more bones and nearly killing Hawk.

ANNOUNCER 1: Hawk's fall yesterday has left him hospitalized and out of the action, but he's given us permission to broadcast his hip replacement.
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